Who I Want To Be...

Many of you will remember me talking about "Momma Verna". Verna was a feisty older lady I worked with at Proffitts'. If Verna loved you, she loved you for life, if she didn't like you- well, then woe be unto you! She was in her 70's and worked far harder than anyone my age. As a matter of fact, Verna could run circles around us "young chicks." She knew nearly every customer that came into the store, and the all loved her. She took up for us, and supported us, in good and bad times. If something needed to be done, Verna made sure it got done. I'll never forget one of the managers, Sue, saying, "I'm not telling Verna to do nothing, she's over me!"

Verna thanked God every day she walked through the employee door. She thanked him for having a place to work, and for the co-workers she loved so dearly. Although I was only at Proffitts' for two years, I got very attached to Verna. She was so much like my grandmother in so many ways. I never knew Nanny when she was "well" like Verna, but their personalities were so similar. One day in March, Verna fell in the mall, coming back from lunch. We were all devastated as she was taken out in an ambulance to the hospital.

We all went to see Verna weekly, if not daily in the hospital. The days turned into weeks, turned into months. I spent Mother's Day of 2005 with Verna. I took her a corsage, and she pinned it onto the sling on her arm. That was the most precious Mother's Day I've ever spent. Verna was a widow, and lost her only child when he was less than a year old. She has sisters living, but other than that, we were her family. We were all looking forward to her coming home and getting back to work. She loved to talk about the store.

Verna came back in July. She wasn't her old self. She couldn't move around like she once could, and got tired so easily. We knew she was discouraged, but we wouldn't let her give up. We all thought it was just simply that she hadn't fully recovered from the fall. To our horror, we were wrong. Verna was diagnosed with cancer. My heart was broken. She was back in the hospital in October, and spent November, and part of December there.

The last time I saw Verna, I took her some pictures of me and the girls from work. The last words I ever said to her, was I love you, and I'll pray for you. I know I couldn't have said anything better, but I had no idea, those would be the last words I'd ever say to her. My insulin spiked sometime in the late months of 2005, leaving me very sick. That was when I had just begun my injections, and was so weak, it was all I could do to get off of the couch myself. The day I finally had strength to get up, I picked up the phone to call Geraldine. I was going to tell her to call Verna- that it didn't matter what her house looked like, or her, that we were coming over. Literally, as I picked up the phone to call her, Jake was on the other end. He told me he wanted to tell me about the arrangements. Verna had died. I had no idea. I was too late. There were no more words, the last words I said to her, were the last words.

I loved that woman so much. She taught me about the kind of person I want to be. She loved the Lord with all her heart. Her friends, family, and job, meant everything to her. She didn't do anything halfway. If Verna did it, it got done.

I pass by the old Proffitts' store every morning on my way to work. Not a morning goes by that I don't think of her, and wish we were all together back in the old store again. I love you Momma Verna, and miss you more than you'll ever know. God took the best when he took you.