Always Reflecting...

Since I've not been working, I've had more time on my hands than I'm used to. Even though I wasn't at ACT all that long, the time I was there, I was completely dedicated. My life was going full-force. I was going non-stop from the time I walked in the door, until the time I went home, and then some. Since leaving on the 22nd, I've had nothing but time to think. I've relected on my *past* job, friends, and life in general.

As I was taking my bubble bath last night at 3:30am it hit me. I know each and every one of you have heard someone say, at some point in time, "Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have." Ok, yeah, it's cheesy, and pisses you off when someone tells you that-- or at least it used to always piss me off. Anyway, you know, it's so very, very true. How many people in my life, had they loved me the way I wanted them to, would've messed me up royally? I mean, for instance, had PC and TM shown me the attention or "love" that I secretly desired, where would I be right now? In deep shit. Totally.

As much as it hurt, losing my job at ACT was the best thing that could've ever happened to me. There's no way I could've continued to work there and anything good come of it. Granted, I had friends there that I cherished, and still do-- however, with the men, it was a ticking timebomb just waiting to explode. I know now that I'm better off-- even if the company is losing one of the best receptionist they ever had.

While comtemplating that, I thought of all the friends I've had in my life- of all the people who have come and gone. There are so many people who have come in and out of my life, and touched me deeply for one reason or another. There are so many people I've fallen out of touch with, and often wonder how they are. For instance- Holly, Jess, Geraldine, Mary, and Little Bit. They were part of my life, daily, for two years. We talked daily, and were there to make each other smile, and lift each other up when things weren't going the best. I miss that. Geraldine, Holly, and Little Bit still work at Belk in Bristol. Mary still lives in Bristol, I see her a couple of times a year and keep in touch via e-mail. Jess, I have no idea. I miss those girls. They were my family. Even though *for the most part* I can talk to them when I need to, it's not the same not seeing them daily. It's not the same not having Proffits' anymore.

I've only been on this earth 28 years, and in those 28 years, I've made so many memories. I've had to tell so many people good-bye, and good-bye forever. I've learned the hard way, to cherish every moment you have with those you love- to tell them you love them, that you never know when it's the last time you'll see them.

Today, tell someone you love them. Don't delay. Enjoy the memories of the past, they've shaped who you are today.