How Many Times...

Do we think things are terrible, until they change? I was reading a post on a friend's blog, and it inspired me. She and her partner had separated. When things are in the "end stage", you don't see anything but the negative- even if you still love the person, you see more of the bad, than the good. Once they're gone, the thing that's in the front of your mind, is when things were good. I can relate to that all too well. I think we all can. I mean, how many times have you felt like a situation was bringing you down, and in the end, it was for the best to disconnect from it, only to realize, that maybe things weren't as bad as you thought?

I've had this happen more times than I can admit- in relationships, jobs, friendships, you name it, it's probably happened to me. Once we get in a "comfort zone", it's so easy to focus more on the bad, than the good. Take my job at Proffits' for example. I absolutely adored my co-workers, they were my family. We had so much fun together. Of course, we all fought from time to time, but it wasn't anything that couldn't be resolved in a matter of hours (typically). Looking back, I really loved my job. At the time, did I think so? HELL NO! I focused on the fact that I hated being screamed at daily.

"Sales!!! Credit!!!" Big Daddy would scream every morning, and pound papers on my counter. I'd pound them right back, telling him that I would get hem when I got them. The day after Thanksgiving, I wanted to die. I remember sitting in the break room at noon, sobbing, because I was so tired, and so stressed. I had no idea how I was going to get through the holiday season. Every night, until December 25th, I came home tired. My body aching, and my mind racing. All I could think about was, "how can I get out of that hellhole?"

Little did I know, in a matter of a year, I'd give anything to be back in that hellhole. There were times that were hard. There were times that were stressful. Would I do it again? Absolutely. I miss my friends. I miss my customers. I miss Big Daddy, and God knows I miss Verna. The ONLY good thing I can say about the Belk transition, is that it took place after Verna was in the hospital, and ultimately, had passed away. I'm thankful she didn't have to see the store she loved so much, ripped apart at the seams. No, it wasn't much, but it was ours. We didn't realize just how much we loved it, until it was gone.

I left the friday before they took out the cosmetic counters. I couldn't handle watching them take them out. I get emotional just thinking about Big Daddy crying as he had to send Kathy, Little Bit, and Holly down to the other store. I remember the tears streaming down my cheeks the last time I walked out our employee door, and the last drive home, knowing I'd never be going back to that store again, as an employee.

For so long, I focused on how bad things were. I focused on the bad, not the good. Of course, hindsight is 20/20. If I had it all to do over again, I'd cherish every day I had there. I would've worried much less, and laughed much more. Although there was always a smile on my face, I would bitch constantly. If I could take it back, I would.

That's just one of the many times I've thought things were much worse than they really were. Ultimately, was it for the best? I can't say that I feel it was, but because of my health failing so miserable last fall, I wouldn't have had a choice anyway. So, perhaps it was for the best.

Is this the case with every situation? No. There are times things ARE as bad as we think they are- there will always be those occasions. Am I one of the people who will go to the extreme with my emotions, absolutely. I'm guilty of letting them rule my life. I guess the whole point of this post is- a "Do as I say, Not Do as I Do". Don't waste your time focusing on the bad. There's a reason we remember the good.

(Deb, I don't want you to think I was writing this to preach to you, or influence you to make any type of decision that's not for the best. You just inspired me so much, to take a look inside at some of the things I've done in the past. *Hugs*)