Things That Just Aren't Right...

Just So Wrong...

Reflections... And All That You Can't Live Without...

Now that I'm working graveyard at an incredibly slow hotel, I have more time on my hands than I know what to do with. Of course, my mind wonders to all that is, was, and possibly will be. I recently educated myself in "beginners html" and was absolutely ecstatic when I was able to add pictures to my blog. As I looked back through the pictures, each brought a smile to my face, and all for a different reason.

I have been so blessed to have been touched by so many people. One thing that can be said about me, I've most definitely not had a dull life. I'm one who decided early in life that I was going to live the way I chose. I was going to have fun, no matter what I did, or where I was. I've literally started parties in parking lots, and in the middle of the street, just because I felt like it. I'm the type of person, whom, well, if you were at the club, and no one was dancing, I would be the one to go right out in the middle and start busting some moves. Did I just say, "busting some moves?" Anyway, within a matter of minutes, I would have half the club partying with me- it's just who I am.

I guess you could say, my gift to the world is my smile. I love to be happy. I love to live. I love people- period. That's part of what's wrong with me. I'm not making anyone happy right now. I'm sitting in a hotel for 8 hours a day, with very little human contact. I'm not making anyone happy, or bringing a smile to their face by a kind word, a joke, or just a general feeling of happiness and well-being in the mix. I'm not doing anything- and that's not me.

I've always been a social creature, one who was the life of the party, without even trying. I'm spoiled, and I'll be the first to admit it. I like to be able to come and go as I please. I like to be able to get in my car, and go see Susan, Justin, Jake, Monger, Eddie and Eddie, or whomever I please. Now that I'm HAVING to work, my life is completely screwed. I haven't HAD to work since I got married. Proffitts', it was for fun. It was the greatest job I've ever had, but it wasn't necessary- it was my choice, which made me love it even more.

I miss Little Bit, Jess, Mary, Geraldine, Holly, and even Big Daddy. You can't tell we had nicknames or anything, huh? I miss the good times, sneaking out of our counters, and running down through the mall when Bath and Body Works had their semi-annual sale, and when we got caught coming back, SWEARING to Big Daddy that we had a "feminine emergency" and had to go to the bathroom downstairs. That excuse worked really good, until I forgot and used it twice in two weeks- needless to say, he caught on (although, it's not like I didn't go ahead and do what I wanted to, when I wanted to anyway). It was common knowledge, if you wanted gossip, you came to the Elizabeth Arden Counter on any given day, and you could know EVERYTHING that was going on in the store.

When I arrived at work, for the first hour, I walked around to every department to talk- I had to get the "scoop" on what was going on in the store. Then after about an hour, I would come back to my register, open it, make 2 to 3 sales, which would cover my goal for the day, and go to lunch. When I came back, I had to walk around again, because you know, in those few hours, something good might've happened. I'd go back, sell a little more, and then it would be time for me to go home. Ah, those were the days. Tell me, where else could you get away with all of this?

Now, I'm sure you're thinking, what in the hell does this have to do with anything? Answer: Not a damn thing. I just felt nostalgic, and wanted to reminisce a little. Thanks for taking this trip down memory lane with me- and enjoy the pictures. I'll tell more stories in regards to many of them in the coming weeks. If you happen to have a question about any of the pics, please, feel free to ask, as you can tell, I love to talk! Shutting me up is hard! ;0)

What A Blessing!

Last night, while I was lounging in the pool at my parents house, I recieved the most wonderful news! My grandfather, Papaw Lamar, got a clean bill of health from his doctor. He had survived a fight with bladder cancer, and in the earlier part of the year, was given a grim report- that the cancer was back, and had possibly spread throughout his body. His chances for survival weren't looking good.

I had seen so many people die from cancer this year, that my hopes were all but shattered for papaw. It's truly a miracle that he's ok, and hopefully has many wonderful years ahead of him!

Where Are You Now?

Sums up the year 1995. The song "Where Are You Now" by Janet Jackson played in my cassette player while driving down highway 181 in my 1986 Subaru GL. The world was in the palm of my hand, and had no clue. Beauty, youth, power, time- it's all on your side when your sixteen. That summer, was like no other. I had met a man, I knew that would be the one. His name was Josh. He was so handsome, an officer in the Army. He was home for the summer and working at a pizza parlor part-time. I worked next door at the grocery store. I remember the first time I saw Josh. He had a commanding presence. You knew he was a military man just by looking at him. His clear green eyes so beautiful and mesmerizing . I knew right then, I wanted him. And I WOULD have him.

For the first part of the summer, we'd talk and flirt between the two businesses. He had no idea I was only sixteen, nor did I alert him to that fact. Finally, on June 25th, 1995, he asked me out. I was estatic!!! Josh, finally asked me out! He was twenty eight, and I was sixteen. Needless to say, that had to be hidden from my parents, and him. He could never know I was only sixteen. If I just keep him happy for two more years, it wouldn't matter after that- well, that's what my naive little mind thought at the time. It seemed like a good idea. After all, Jennifer was dating Billy, and he was twenty four, and she was only seventeen, and Heather- she was dating Chris, he was twenty six and she was only sixteen. They had all been in successful relationships, so why should mine be any different? After all, I looked the part.

I went to Bennigan's with Joey on St. Patrick's day and wasn't even carded. The green beer definitely kicked my ass, I was so glad he was driving... Back to the subject at hand- Josh. We had a whirlwind romance. He was everything I knew he would be. He was so protective of me, so caring. He treated me like a queen, his queen. Our relationship was magical, until August 8th. He wanted to go dancing at Tu La Fe. Ok, it's ok. I've been plenty of times to the club. "Burger" the bouncer, he was cool- he always let me in. He stamped me underage, because I never went to drink, just party. I wasn't worried at all about going. Josh held my hand as we walked up to the door. Panic set in when I discovered "Burger" wasn't working the door.

How was I going to get in? What was I going to do? I had no choice. I had to lie- say I forget my license, I can't find it- something. Josh CANNOT KNOW the truth- not yet. I played it cool. I told the bouncer I forgot my license, until Josh reached into my purse and pulled out my wallet, when he looked at it, he took me by the arm and pulled me out the door. I sobbed all the way to the car. I got the "You know this could ruin my life speech", the "you're underage, I could go to jail, get kicked out of the Army, blah, blah, blah". I should've told him the truth. I know I should've, but I was so in love, I couldn't see past that. I sobbed all the way home. He told me when I was eighteen, we could try it again.

My heart was crushed. I never thought I'd ever get over that hurt. I made him my world. I did everything in my power to make him happy, to keep him mine. When we're young, everything is major to us. We do stupid things, and justify them by saying they're for the greater good- only to realize, we didn't know what the greater good was to begin with...I saw Josh a few years ago. He's a disturbed man. He's seen so much in the military and wars, he's no longer the same man I loved. He held my hand, and looked up into my eyes. He told me he always loved me, and never stopped, but he wasn't good for me, and he knew that. He kissed me, and left the bar. That's the last time I saw him.Today, I heard the song "Where Are You Now?", and it reminded me of him, of the good times and the bad. I wouldn't trade a moment with him for all the money in the world. I learned valuable lessons from Josh. He taught me so much about myself. I miss him sometimes. I hope maybe he's found a good woman to love and care for him. I wish him nothing but the best.... I found this too- thought you might enjoy it- It's me and my best friend Jennifer at the mall the day after Josh asked me out. I was so happy, as you can see, and wearing my favorite dress. I still have that dress. I keep it as a reminder of happiness, that it was mine and no one can ever take away from me...

Scary...

Your 2006 Summer Anthem Is

Stars Are Blind by Paris Hilton "I can make you nice and naughtyBe the devil and angel tooGot a heart and soul and bodyLet's see what this love can doBaby I'm perfect for you"

What's" Your 2006 Summer Anthem?

Wasting Time...

Something I've done a lot of lately. Since my husband has been on strike, I've felt so sorry for myself, because I've had to go back to work, and my picture perfect world has been shattered. No more lazy days at the pool, and going to my friends' houses whenever I want. No more extra money to get my nails done, or go out to dinner if we just feel like going out. Now, I'm on a tight budget. I never worried about how I was going to pay my bills, or IF I was going to have the money to pay them.

I never worried about whether or not I had insurance, it was just always there for me- and all I had to do was going to Rite Aid once a month to pick up my prescriptions. Granted, I hated taking them, but they were always there for me, to help me to "get better". Now, I have no insurance, and enough medicine to get me through the end of this month.

My heart always went out to those who couldn't afford to pay their bills, or go to the doctor- or God-forbid, couldn't afford their medicine. I never thought I'd be one of them. I never thought I'd be sitting where I am right now. If not for the help and love of friends and family, I have no idea where I'd be right now.

I've spent so much time feeling sorry for myself, and the things that I DON'T have, that I've forgotten to focus on the things I DO have. I have love and support from my family, friends and church. I have a roof over my head, food on my table, and clothes on my back. I have a job, working for good people, who TRULY appreciate me, and the work I do for them. I'm able to get out of my bed, and actually go to a job now (unlike a few months ago).

This situation I'm in, it's not forever. It's only temporary. Chris will go back to work, and my "perfect life" will resume once more, only this time, something will be different. I will appreciate ALL that I have, because I know, in the blink of an eye, it can all be gone. Be thankful for all that you have, no matter what your circumstances.

In Loving Memory of Nikki and Jerry...

Nicole R. Wiley, 29, of Pottsville, passed away Saturday evening at Pottsville Hospital. Born in Pottsville, May 26, 1977, she was a daughter of Thomas Wiley, New Ringgold, and Albert and Janeyl? Markovich Flannery, Pottsville. She was a 1996 graduate of Elizabethton? High School, Tennessee. She graduated from Empire Beauty School, Pottsville.She was a receptionist in the physical therapy department at Pottsville Hospital.She was a member of St. Patrick Roman Catholic Church, Pottsville.She was preceded in death by a maternal grandfather, John Markovich; a paternal grandfather, Thomas Wiley.Surviving are a daughter, Chloe Bledsoe, at home; a sister, Janeyl McPhillips, Pottsville; two brothers, Thomas Wiley, Orwigsburg, and Cody Wiley, New Ringgold; a maternal grandmother, Rose Markovich; a paternal grandmother, Mary Wiley; two nieces, Shaye? Wiley and Rileigh? McPhillips, two nephews, Quinn McPhillips and Jackson Wiley; her companion, Chris Lowthert, Orwigsburg.Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated at 10 a.m. Thursday in St. Patrick Church. Friends may call from 7 to 9 p.m. Wednesday and 8:30 to 9:30 a.m. Thursday at Schlitzer-Allen-Pugh Funeral Home, Pottsville. Memorial contributions may be made to Pottsville Hospital, c/o Development Office, 420 S. Jackson St., Pottsville, 17901. Interment will be in St. Nicholas Cemetery, Branch Township


Jerry Wilkerson - GRAY Jerry Woodruff Wilkerson, age 53, of Gray, TN, formerly of Lenoir City, passed away Wednesday, June 28, 2006, after an illness with cancer. Jerry was retired as Director of Operations for PFG, Hale in Morristown, TN. He was a former business graduate and basketball letterman, 1970-1974, of East Tennessee State University. Jerry was preceded in death by his father, Floyd Woodruff (Woody) Wilkerson, grandparents, Floyd and Mary Wilkerson, The Reverend Sam J.K. and Mary Elizabeth Munsey, all from Lenoir City; several aunts and uncles. Survivors: wife, Donna Morelock Wilkerson, of Gray; daughters, Kenda Benward and husband, Aaron, Angela Ward and husband, Sammy, all of Franklin, TN; son, Jerry Woodruff (Woody) Wilkerson Jr., of Los Gatos, CA; step daughter, Taylor Lawson, of Gray; grandchildren, Luke, Gracie and Ella Benward, all of Franklin; mother, Ella A. Munsey Wilkerson, of Lenoir City; sisters and brothers-in-law, Joy Resseguie and Bob, Vickie Graham and Chuck, all of Lenoir City, Eva House and John, of Marietta, GA; mother-in-law, Novella Morelock; brother-in-law, Brian Morelock, both of Kingsport. The family will receive friends from 6 to 8 p.m. Friday at the Click Funeral Home Farragut Chapel. Funeral services at 1 p.m. Saturday at Dixie Lee Baptist Church with Rev. Jeff Benward officiating. Interment will follow in the Dixie Lee Baptist Church Cemetery. Pallbearers: David Resseguie, Samuel Graham and Andrew Resseguie, all of Lenoir City, Brad Morelock and Brandon Morelock, both of Kingsport. Honorary pallbearers: Tom Scott, Lewis Pardue, Rich Stetz, Rod Pickle, Mike Gulley, Pete Deuber, Steve Mills, Putty Mosier, Harry Harmon and Pat Schliesman. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to the T J Martell Foundation-Vanderbilt Ingram Cancer Center, Vanderbilt University, Nashville, TN 37232. Click Funeral Home, Farragut Chapel, 11915 Kingston Pike, is serving the Wilkerson family. www.clickfuneralhome.com

As you can see, it's been a hard couple of weeks. Nikki, was a dear friend from high school, taken far too early. Jerry, was the husband of a dear friend, and former Co-worker, Donna. Please keep their families and friends in your prayers.