Saturday, December 31, 2005

Awwwwwwwwwww... We Got Married!!!






Yes, I got married 3 years ago today :0). Wearing a beautiful red Italian silk dress. Who me, wear white? You know, it's one thing to hear snickering when you walk down the aisle, but me- hell, I couldn't keep a straight face for that! I walked down the aisle to "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel, and exited an hour later to "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain. It was the happiest day of my life- and I partied like I've never partied before afterwards. Here are a few pics to enjoy!

Awwwwwwwwwww... We Got Married- Part 2






More pics for you to enjoy- from my "Bleeding Armadillio" cake- remember "Steel Magonlia's"- nothing like a good piece of ass *LOL* to me singing and re-enacting the "Like A Virgin" video- my life's dream! Enjoy the fun and friendship shared at our wedding and reception!

Friday, December 30, 2005

Random Picture #2


Me and Cracker "AKA: Eddie Henson" New Year's 2000

Random Picture...


For your enjoyment :0)

Miss Deep South US Achievement 2001


*I didn't think about the fact the banner wasn't really that readable *LOL*

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Since There's Not Much...


Going on in cold, gloomy East Tennessee, I figured I'd share some funny stories. I LOVE telling stories, like I've mentioned before, I literally have a story for ANY and EVERY occasion! I think I'll tell some Proffitts' stories tonight. As you can tell from some of my earlier pictures, I was a bleached blonde for nearly six years. I thought I couldn't be beautiful UNLESS my hair was "Marilyn" blonde. Well, for those of you who bleach or have bleached in the past- you KNOW what that does to your hair. Yep, it fries it, and does tend make the hair break- especially if you LOVE the tanning bed as much as I did.

I was a tanning bed JUNKIE. I had to go DAILY or else I just knew I was going to be white, and that nice little playboy bunny that is PERMANENTLY tanned into the side of my left ankle would disappear. Anyway, back to the story at hand. My boss, Kim- AKA: "That Thing That Makes Our Schedule", came into work one day. Now, I've told you that my hair was bleached blonde, and well, there was very little of it, because I'd bleached it SOOOOOOOO much- so I decided to try some of the "clip on hair", the ponytails and such. LOVED them. They looked so natural and matched my hair. I started out with a small ponytail, and since no one seemed to know it was fake, I decided to get more. I came in to work with a longer "rolled" ponytail. Kim came over to my counter and looked as if she as going to break into tears.

She said "Oh, my God!!! Christy got new hair!!!", she had everyone coming over to see my new hair. The saddest part of this entire situation is- that I wasn't embarrassed and/or mortified. I was ecstatic that people noticed it and liked it as much as I did! Jess, however, was embarrassed for me. Then again, I embarrassed Jess on a daily basis by holding Chick-fil-a chicken nuggets up to her saying "Chicken is your friend Jess, chicken doesn't judge you"- and then would die laughing. I would laugh, but I honestly wished she would eat. Jess lived on wheat thins and diet frozen dinners. The girl was a size 4!!! I was like WTF!!! I loved Jess though, she was a good friend.

Another story I simply must share. Geraldine, she was the counter manager for Lancome. We called each other "Sis"- well, actually we called everyone in cosmetics "Sis". Someone could yell "Sis" and 5 people would turn around and answer *LOL*. Anyway, Geraldine and I were sitting at her counter- one of my favorite pastimes after Big Daddy had gone home. We were telling crazy stories, and hers topped them all!!!

Geraldine was telling us that after her first husband died that she was trying to get her finances in order, and needed to buy her son, Johnny, some clothes for school. She called the credit card company *for the life of me, I can't remember what company this way, I'm thinking Millers*, and informed them that she needed a credit card in her name. Back in those days, women didn't have credit cards in their name- it was always in the husband's name. The person on the phone asked Geraldine why she needed a card in her name, and she informed them that her husband was deceased. They told her a credit card would be out to her in her name in 7 to 10 days.

Well, two weeks later, Geraldine received the card. When she opened it up, she was devastated. The card said "Mr. Deceased". I lost it! I nearly pissed myself right then and there. I was laughing so hard I had tears streaming down my cheeks. I couldn't help it. Geraldine was laughing too. When I finally calmed down, she told me that at the time, she was still grieving, and she cut the card to shreds and never shopped at Millers again- but looking back, it's a scream and she wished she had kept it. Mr. Deceased. I can't imagine- I'd give anything if she had kept it. That was too funny!

One more while I'm on a roll. Proffitts' Bristol was probably the most lenient of all the Proffitts' chain to work for- Big Daddy *or Ron*, our store manager, was the best person, with the biggest heart, and the worst manager. He loved us too much to be the kind of manager he needed to be, so many times our store looked like shit. Well, every couple of months Jim and Russell would show up for a visit *those were our district and regional managers*. Most of the time, cosmetics were covered. I was completely obsessive compulsive about my counter- so it was ALWAYS immaculate. However, the "numbers" for everyone's counters, weren't always so. I was typically always at goal or above. It just so happened that Jim and Russell decided on a visit while I was REALLY in the hole.

I knew my ass was grass. I had to figure a way out of this situation and FAST. I went home that night, and picked out the classiest, low cut dress I owned- Kim refers to it as the "Marilyn" dress. It looks very similar to Marilyn Monroe's famous "white dress" only in black. I put on a pair of heels and my "fancy hair", as Kim liked to refer to it. The next day, I was ready. Kim decided I was going to be the "spokesperson" for cosmetics, and I HAD to flirt, because Estee Lauder's numbers were sucking majorly, and I wasn't having the best week either.

As Jim and Russell walked by, Jim walked up on one side of me, while Russell came up on the other, both putting their arms around me, telling me how good it was to see me. I had the biggest shit eating grin on my face, considering neither of them had EVER spoken to me before. They both sang my praises, saying how glad they were to have me managing Elizabeth Arden, and how wonderful cosmetics looked. They DIDN'T EVEN LOOK at the counters, they didn't get above my chest. Mission accomplished. Big Daddy stayed off of me for the rest of the week- no fighting about my "numbers not being what they should be". It just proves- sometimes, flirting will get you everywhere- it saved our asses many times! *LOL*

I do hope you enjoyed my Proffitts' stories. I love telling them, and have tons of stories of all sorts. If you want to hear about anything in particular- let me know!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

My Doctor's Appointment...

Went GREAT!!! I've lost 10lbs in 3 weeks, and didn't have to have blood work!!! YAY!!! You have NO IDEA how much I hate drinking that nasty syrupy drink that you have to drink, then having my blood drawn an hour later. UGH. Thank goodness, it seems everything is going ok for now. I go back again next month for a re-check. If my weight is still going down, then I'm on the road to getting my PCOS/IRS under control!!! :0).

On a more serious note, I recieved this today in my e-mail, and wanted to share it. Regardless of what your religious beliefs are, please keep this child in your thoughts and prayers- no matter who you pray to...

"On Friday December 16, 2005 I returned to work at the fire department from my four day break. Our officer at the station called us in for ameeting around 08:30. He informed us that Roby Lowe, a firefighter for Johnson City at station 6 on A shift needed our prayers. He told us that Roby's 9 year old daughter had been diagnosed with cancer. The doctors found more than 100 tumors in her body in various places. Specialistswere called and they said this is a type of cancer found usually in middle aged men. They also said that it was terminal and there was nothing they could do but chemotherapy, and hope this slowed it down. Our Captain informed us that this would probably be there last Christmas together. All that the family is asking for is prayers. The station thatI work at has started a prayer chain, I hope that you all can help withthis request- Allen Foshie"

Thank you...

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Gainfully Employed!!!

Yay!!! I'm NOW have a job! I won't be starting until after the first of the year, but I'm SO EXCITED! I'm going to be doing nails at Merle Norman in the Johnson City Mall!!! I had worked for Merle Norman off and on for 8 years, in cosmetics and sales. Believe it or not, cosmetics sales are REALLY stressful. I was under the false impression for years that all you had to do was stand behind a counter and look pretty. DAMN, was I wrong! There's SO much more to it than that- all being "pretty" does is open the door for you. Granted, by wearing the make-up you do sell, because it sells itself- it's the treatment and skincare that YOU have to sell, and that can be a bitch.

Anyway, I don't think I'm going to work on the floor that much, I'll mostly be concentrating on building my nail business. Mrs. Fritz would be so proud of me. I'm finally doing something with my degree *L*. It's going to be a great opportunity, and I'll be getting out of the house- which will make ALL the difference in the world! If you happen to be in the area, stop by after the first of the year, and we'll get you set up with and appointment!

Monday, December 26, 2005

What Is PCOS/IRS?

I've had several e-mails asking me about PCOS/IRS, the answer is simple, yet complicated. It's Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome with Insulin Resistance Syndrome. A condition that is believed to be genetic, and one I was born with. Unfortunately back in the 70's and 80's, PCOS was unheard of- little was known about the disorder, and few treatments were available. Symptoms of PCOS/IRS include- Irregular periods/lack of period, excessive weight gain, inability to lose weight, fatigue, excessive hair growth, infertility, hormonal imbalances, elevated insulin levels, depression, anxiety- the list goes on.

For 24 years, I lived with the disorder, having no idea why I couldn't lose weight, why I felt like shit, and struggled to get out of my bed every day of my life. Doctors dismissed my weight problem, attributing it to poor eating habits and lack of discipline. When I was 15, I cussed out a doctor and swore I'd never see another again. After explaining to him that I ate less than 500 calories a day, less than 10 grams of fat, and LITERALLY took 2 step aerobics classes a day 5 days a week, he didn't seem to think that was enough. After using a few choice words, I then asked him why when I began with the "diet" and exercise program that I began weighing 245lbs, and wearing a size 24, and 8 months later, I still weighed 245lbs, but I wore a size 12 in clothes? I went down SIX DRESS SIZES and lost not one damn pound? Granted, my body was solid muscle, and muscle does weigh more than fat, but surely in 8 months eating what I was, I should've lost a pound?!?!

Ugh! After that, things went down hill. When I got married, I looked like a whale! Now, I'm not your typical fuller-figure woman. I don't mind being a little bigger. I was born this way, it's the only thing I know, so I love myself and know I look good. Yes, that might be vain, but I'd rather see someone with a good, healthy body image at any size, than someone who's a size 6 and insecure about their body. My biggest issue about the extra weight was, I just didn't feel good, physically. Mentally and emotionally, I was great with who I am, it's just I wasn't able to be me, because I always felt so bad.

In 2003, I went to the doctor for the first time in years. God Bless, Dr. Brenda Crowder. She was the FIRST doctor, who finally understood when I told her I couldn't lose weight, that there was a problem, and it wasn't that I was lazy or over-eating! She ran bloodtests that came back really bad. My insulin was triple that of a normal person, ALL of my hormones were screwed up, nothing was normal. She immediately put me on glucophage to being lowering my insulin. Let me tell you, glucophage will make your life HELL. The first month I took it, I didn't move from my bed other than to go to the bathroom. I threw up violently EVERY day of my life. I was so weak I couldn't move on my own, I had to have someone with me constantly to just function. As the insulin came out of my body, I began to feel better. I actually had a period again, and thought I was getting better.

For the past 3 years, I've struggled. My health had gone up and down, which put me on an emotional rollercoaster. The last time I went back to the doctor, my insulin was out of control again, and I felt miserable. I was planning my life around sleep. Literally. I would go to bed at 11pm, and wake up at the next day, barely able to function, and ready for a nap at 3pm. Dr. Crowder referred me to Dr. Joseph Kennedy. REMEMBER THAT NAME- and NEVER GO TO HIM. This man is an asshat. Yes, you heard me correctly, an asshat.

When I walked into his office, he had no idea why I was there, and the first question he asked me was what my husband did for a living and what kind of insurance I had. Ok, my husband works for the government, so yes, we have top of the line insurance, and yes, we live a "comfortable" life. Dr. Kennedy proceeded to ask me if I was there to see him about infertility and weight loss. I was like "NO I'm here to lower my insulin". I explained to him my problems with weight, and that it had been explained to me that until my body absorbs my insulin, that I won't be able to lose weight. He basically ignores EVERYTHING I tell him, and proceeds to suggest gastric bypass surgery. I was APPALLED!!! Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging those who have had gastric bypass, but for someone of my size, that's insanity. I am FULLY capable of losing weight *which I've now proven*. After listening to his 15 minute spill about the surgery, I got up and left. I called Dr. Crowder and rescheduled with her.

She was absolutely mortified that he had even suggested such a thing. She apologized for his actions, and we looked into new treatments for PCOS. My Aunt Judy is a diabetic, and had been prescribed an injection that helps her body to absorb her insulin, and lose weight. Perfect, exactly what I need. Although I am the opposite of a diabetic, that's exact what I need. Dr. Crowder wasn't familiar at all with the drug, and was hesitant. After doubling my glucophage with no result, she finally gave in and allowed me to be her "guinea pig". I'm SO thankful she has. After MANY, MANY years of not feeling like getting out of bed, and struggling just to survive, I finally feel like a human. I have the energy to get out of bed in the morning. I'm losing weight, and even though I haven't had my bloodwork yet, I know my insulin has to be going down. Byetta is a Godsend- truly.

After years of wondering why I wasn't normal, why when I ate far less than my friends and family that I was twice the size of everyone else, and never feeling normal, always being tired, crabby, lethargic, miserable, I'm living again. If you have any of the symptoms of PCOS/IRS or know anyone who does, please encourage them to see their doctor. There is help. Don't live in misery. There is no prison worse than living in a sick body. I've lived in one for 27 years, that's 27 years too many.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

An Obsession...




Yes, I'm obsessed with "Panda Cam". I've been watching Tai Shan since he was a day old on July 10th, 2005. In my spare time, I keep panda came running, just to see what he'll do next! I've watched him so much I feel like he's a part of my family. In the summer of 2006 I'll be taking a trip to Washington D.C to see him! I'm so excited!!!

If you haven't seen him, check out Panda Cam, and join in the fun!

Here and Gone...

Christmas came and went so quickly this year! I guess that is due to the fact that I'm not in retail anymore. Last year, from the day after Thanksgiving, until Christmas Eve, we counted down the days until Christmas was here, just so we could have so peace. When you're in retail, Christmas takes on an entirely new meaning, and you realize just how many people have no clue what it's really all about. I can't complain this year. I've had a great Christmas, surrounded by my family and friends. My children did wonderful last night. People were so glad they were a part of our service. As soon as I get my pictures developed, I'll post them here. I dropped my digital camera about a month ago, and it's out of commission as of now. No, my husband doesn't know, because I'd probably be a dead woman for dropping it. He just thinks it needs a new battery, which it very well may. PRAY that's all it is. I hope everyone has been able to have a nice day of relaxation and love with family and friends. God Bless...

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry Christmas!


I just thought I'd share this with you because it's so not right- and SO me! I hope you all have a safe and Merry Christmas- and Hannukah *and anything else anyone celebrates :0)* We'll see how good of a sunday school teacher I am tonight. My "chitlins" are singing during Mass tonight, and I do hope they'll not get stage fright. Granted, we only have about 30 people on a "good sunday", but since tonight is Christmas Eve, we'll have probably around 60. The church is always full of Christmas and Easter- the two times of year you can guarentee a packed house.

I'm getting ready to go to Red Lobster in a few with my Aunt Judy. It's something she started when I was 8 years old, and we've continued to this day. It's not Christmas if we don't go to Red Lobster for lunch or dinner on Christmas Eve. Then tomorrow, we'll have our "Family Christmas" and open presents. That's been a big transition for my husband because they always open presents on Christmas Eve.

Regardless of how and what you celebrate, I hope you're surrounded by those you love and cherish, and if you can't be with them in the flesh, be with them in the heart. God Bless...

Never Forget...

At this time of year when we celebrate with our friends and loved ones, let us not forget two precious people, taken from the world at the hands of a monster. May God Bless and keep you always.

In Memory of Laci and Conner Peterson, December 24th, 2oo2.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Blessed with Friends....






Since I've been so down, I've been trying to count my blessings, and remember to give thanks for all I do have. Here are a few of my many friends- people I am blessed to have, or have had in my life. I love you- ALL!


A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Wal-Mart. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Wal-Mart.

We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day. The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in "Mom, let's run through the rain," she said. "What?" Mom asked. "Let 's run through the rain!" She repeated. "No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied. This young child waited about another minute and repeated: "Mom, let's run through the rain," "We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said. "No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.

This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet? "Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!" The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said. Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars. And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, they can take away your health, and those you love. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven. A friend sent this to me to remind me of life. Hope you enjoy it.


1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return. But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away like that was the best conversation you have ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing untill it arrives

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear.

12. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

It Should Be Illegal


For this many people to be allowed on the streets this time of year. Christmas shopping. Did you ever notice that EVERYONE piles into the mall the last week before Christmas? I went to Johnson City today. I had to exchange a gift my mother in law sent me. After circling around for about 20 minutes, I finally found a parking space in BFE that I had to fight for... Ok, I parked, and went into the mall. I went to Merle Norman first. I worked for MN off and on for nearly 8 years. Merle Norman was where I got my start in cosmetics. Donna was working. She was one of my best friends, and the day manager. Me, being the night owl I am, I was the night manager. I hugged all of my old friends and got caught up on how everyone was doing.

Well, you know I've had enough death and despair in the past year to drive me straight into Woodridge. It didn't help me to hear that Donna's husband, Jerry, isn't doing good. Last April, while I was working, Donna called me in tears. They had just found out Jerry had stage 4 lung cancer. The man had never smoked a day in his life, and he has terminal cancer. We were all devastated. The next day, when Donna came to work, she told me that her daughter, Taylor, had written all over her body that night with body glitter pens "Please God, Heal Jerry", and fallen asleep that way. I cried for a month after finding out about his cancer.

As time went on, Jerry was doing ok, he was fighting, and Donna was supporting him every step of the way. After I left Merle Norman and went to Proffitts' full time, Donna and I didn't keep in contact as often I would've liked. I've kept Jerry in my prayers, and he and Donna have been on my mind a lot lately. I was so glad to see Donna today, and to know Jerry's still hanging in there. I've accepted the fact that we're probably going to lose him, and I know that will hurt.

I may be going back to work at Merle Norman as a nail tech. I got my license back in 2002 and haven't done a thing with it since. Ok, I went to school so I didn't have to work. My husband, then fiancee' told me he would pay for me to go to school if I'd just quit my job. I was working for a car dealership, and my life was really out of control for those few months- going to school was a welcome change.

Posted above is a picture of me in "Beauty School". Thank God, I graduated this time. I'm no longer a "Beauty School Drop Out"!!! It's of me, *when I was REALLY fat, thank you PCOS/IRS*, with my best friend Missy. I miss her terribly. We lost contact about a year ago, and I think she moved back to Ohio. If you happen to know her, please let her know I'm looking for her and miss her bunches. Missy, if you happen to see this, come see me and we'll have a "Fish Fry with Aunt Bunny out on Wilson" *LMAO* One day, remind me, and I'll tell you guys that story- it's PRICELESS!!! One thing you will learn about me, I have a story for ANY and EVERY occasion. You name, I've either done it, seen or know someone who's done it! Just ask! More later... :0)

So Glad...

The troll decided to visit me and see the "real" me- maybe you know me, or have seen me- if not, I'd really like to see you.... But just so everyone can see who you are, since you hide behind an "anonymous" profile and belittle those who are grieving- I'm outting you-

If you see this user on your website- know they're an insensitive piece of shit, and a coward. Christy isn't quite as nice as Chloe' was...


Domain Name

qwest.net ? (Network)
IP Address

65.137.139.# (Qwest Communications)
65.137.139.230
ISP

Qwest Communications
Location

Continent
:
North America
Country
:
United States (Facts)
State
:
North Carolina
City
:
Blowing Rock
Lat/Long
:
36.1639, -81.7145 (Map)
Language

English (United States)en-us
Operating System

Microsoft WinXP
Browser

Internet Explorer 6.0Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; ; .NET CLR 1.0.3705)
Javascript

version 1.3
Monitor

Resolution
:
1024 x 768
Color Depth
:
32 bits
Time of Visit

Dec 23 2005 8:38:37 am
Last Page View

Dec 23 2005 8:40:34 am
Visit Length

1 minute 57 seconds
Page Views

2
Referring URL
http://liveinafantasy.blogspot.com/
Visit Entry Page

http://miss1999.blogspot.com/
Visit Exit Page

http://miss1999.blogspot.com/
Time Zone

UTC-5:00EST - Eastern StandardEDT - Eastern Daylight Saving Time
Visitor's Time

Dec 23 2005 8:38:37 am
Visit Number

41

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Last Christmas...


This picture was taken last year on this exact day. It was taken right beside of my Elizabeth Arden Counter. Little Bit, Me, Jess, Heather, and Kim *AKA: That Thing That Makes Our Schedule*- and one of my best friends. I loved the girls. They were my best friends- they were family. At Verna's funeral, I saw almost everyone I had worked with from Proffitts'. You can't imagine how happy I was to see all of the people I loved so much, but how my heart was broken because of the loss of Verna. I was torn. When I sat down with Sis *Geraldine*, she held my hand while we watched the video. At the end, was a picture of me, Holly and Little Bit behind the Clinique counter. The last picture, was a picture I had taken the last day Verna worked. It was of her and Sis, behind her register. My heart was broken.

I began looking at pictures from Christmas last year, some made me laugh, some made me smile, and some made me cry. This picture meant the world to me, and wanted to share it. Treasure every moment you have with your friends. You never know, when it might be the last time you see them.

I've Decided To Heal...

Many of you know me as the "Infamous Chloe' Gardner". Yes, I was the writer and creator of that character. She was a character inspired and brought to life with the help of a dear friend. A friend who has stood by me, and helped me through the lowest point in my life. I will always be grateful to you, "T" for being my friend. You're the best friend a person could ask for...

As for me, you'll learn about who I am, while I figure it out. I've spent my entire life running from the pain of death, loss, disappointment and despair. I haven't dealt with any of them. I've pushed things back into deep crevices in my heart, and pushed myself futher to care for those around me. After losing my job, my friends, and many dear loved ones, I was forced to deal with the pain, and deal with Christy. In 27 years, that's something I've avoided doing. It hurts. It hurts a LOT more than I ever imagined. I pushed those I loved away from me. I no longer had the will to even live.

I'm taking life day by day. I'm talking to someone to help sort out my feelings and learn how to live, not just exist. I'm learning how to be, Christy. I've met many wonderful people here on blogger, people that have become dear friends, and people I treasure- people I don't want to lose. I hope to be able to get myself back on my feet, and living. It's not going to be easy, but things are always easier when you have a friend to hold your hand. Thank you, my friends, I treaure you ALL.